Rosemary’s Genealogy Monologue Ep: 9 Emergency Shelter

Have a seat.

Goddamn it, Rosemary!

We don’t have time for this. Tell me who it is.

[sighs]

Tom, you’re not really gonna listen to this.

[Rosemary sighs]

All right. Here we go.

Warren and the first wife, Sybil, lost their first two boys when they reached the island.

As for the others, didn’t work out so well for them either.

Nope. Tough break. Sorry, kid.

Better luck next time. [sighs]

Okay, I want you to picture this.

You’re a little girl, and your finger gets broken off by a wagon wheel.

Next thing you know, your dad’s dead, and your stepmom is taking you on an adventure.

Destination? Hell.

Your name?

Frances Warren.

Now, your siblings are dead, but God’s finger flicks you on the back of the head, and you float back to shore.

Lucky you, Barnabus Fisher finds you on his way back from a whaling trip, takes pity on you, little girl.

Feeds you, clothes you, raises you.

Wealthy man.

It must be nice.

[coughing]

[Rosemary sighs] All right. Where was I?

Fast forward a few years and you’re in the bloom of youth.

[fan whirring]

[sighs] No, I can’t hear.

I… I can’t hear.

[whirring stops]

Okay. You’re 14 years old.

Barnabus starts to look at you differently.

He sits you down over a cup of whale fin soup and he tells you things are gonna be different.

He’s ripping pages off the calendar. X. X. X. He’s counting down.

Get you a white dress, takes you to the pastor who says, “All right, I guess.” And now you’re married.

You suffer a few miserable years.

Barnabus drops dead, leaving you his whaling business and also a son.

Jonathan is a healthy baby boy, and when he grows up, he won’t be shooting blanks.

He is a stud.

Now, here is where we reach a few ends that are dead.

Dead baby. Dead baby. Lesbian.

Sophia “The Heretic” marries Byron Fairclough.

These jackrabbits had six kids, and some of them have a few of their own, but you know what they say, “A family that swims together, drowns together.”

And so, the inaugural swim is born.

That’s not a saying.

Well, I guess I don’t know what I’m talking about and should just stop.

[Tom clicks tongue]

[Rosemary exhales deeply]

I’m sorry. Please go on.

[Rosemary clears throat]

[Rosemary] Oh. No good news here.

Dead baby. Dead baby. Lesbian.

Can you please stop saying lesbian?

I can’t say that now?

It’s the way you’re saying it.

[Rosemary] Ugh. Fine.

Anyway, this next batch, all retards–

Rosemary!

[Wyck sighs]

Can you please just get on with it?

Please.

[Rosemary] Joseph “The Faithful” has three kids.

Rumor is, two of the siblings took up with each other, which is their business as far as I’m concerned, unless they have children.

And in this case, they did.

You can imagine how that went.

Elizabeth spits out several kids.

Jeremiah, Abigail, and Madorah.

They’re all tickets to nowhere.

Oh, I could tell you their story if-if we’re not in a rush.

[Wyck] Hmm.

I suppose we’re in a rush.

Elizabeth’s daughter, Grace, marries Abraham Fitzgerald, and they have two daughters. “The Ungrateful Hortence”…

Things didn’t turn out so well for her… and Anne Fitzgerald.

She wasn’t much to look at either, but she played her cards right, you know, and married Hezekiah.

Her son gives birth to Mabel, who marries Luther Sullivan.

And we have dead baby.

And a daughter with a bunch of kids who died.

[chuckles] It’s a great murder mystery.

But I’ll get on with it, like Tom wants. [sighs]

[whispers] It was the husband.

[projector sheets rustle]

[normal] Henry.

Henry does okay and gives birth to Ida.

Ida and Frederick Long give birth to Clarabell.

I’ve seen her portrait.

She thinks she’s something.

Clarabell marries Benjamin and gives birth to Edward, and he’s not much.

And now we’re in the 1900s, people.

We get two brothers.

Grant Livingston, who tried to build a submarine, you can guess how that ended, and Charles Livingston marries Florence, which brings me to the final living descendant of Richard Warren.

[thunderclap, rumbling]

And to my knowledge, has no clue about their lineage.

Never married, never had children, which is surprising because this one was a real beaut.

Miss Widow’s Bay, 1959.

So, there’s just one?

One-One descendant of Warren that’s still alive?

Just one in the bloodline, and… and they’re old?

[sighs]

What do we know about her health?

[Patricia] Why are you even asking that?

You know why.

I hope to hell not.

I mean, how much time does she even have left?

I can’t believe this.

This is a woman who bakes us birthday cakes.

Who lets your son stay in her home.

Patricia…

[sighs]

…no one wants this.

But there are hundreds of lives at stake, and one of them is my son.

And that justifies murder?

You can sit there and say all you want, but you don’t know what the fuck I just saw out there.

This is f…

[chuckles]

This is fucking bad.

If it’s done, it needs to be quick.

A gunshot, back of the head.

Oh, my God.

[Tom] All right, Wyck, come on.

It’s barbaric.

It’s the kind thing to do. She wouldn’t see it coming.

[Patricia] Do you hear him?

You’re actually considering this?

What would that make you?

What’s it say about us?

About this place?

You want Evan to grow up in a place that does something like that?

He wouldn’t have to grow up in this place at all.

He shouldn’t have to.

When she dies, it ends.

She lived a good life.

So, what if she’s old? You’re old.

Would you want to be killed if it was you just ’cause you’re old?

I was willing to put the gun in my mouth myself.

Look, she’s not married.

[Patricia] So?

I wasn’t finished.

Oh, cool. Keep going then.

She also never had children.

Well…

[phone rings]

Thank God I’m not a descendant, or I guess my throat would already be slit.

This isn’t about you.

[ringing continues, stops]

[static crackling]

[person speaks indistinctly]

Mitch?

[Mitch, distorted] Oh, God. It’s going.

What-What’s going?

It’s all going!

Mitch, what-what’s going?

[line disconnects]

Mitch? Mitch?

What is it?

I’m not trying to say I told you so, but you brought families here.

It’s been 300 years of hell on this place!

It needs to end.

Don’t try to drag it out.

I can make it quick. Peaceful.

You’re not doing anything.

What does that mean?

What are you gonna do?

[tense music playing]

[thunderclap, rumbling]